Cold chills, wooowhooos, and hospital rooms

I have a really hard time keeping this blog updated… I don’t know that it matters much because who really reads this (I know, but the 3 of you don’t count because you know all of this before you read it here) but I do it for me. Sometimes I just bottle life (and emotions) and then feel really………….bloated! Seriously I could pop right now!

So here’s what’s new!

I was out of town for work last week… I was only in Pigeon Forge but it was nice to be out of the office. The first thing that I do when I stay anywhere other than my home is turn the air as high as it will go; after all I’m not paying that bill! (I saw that mental note you just made to never let me house sit for you) It was so cold that I had to use an ice scraper on the mirror after my shower… I love to sleep in the cold(as long as my feet stay warm) but I can never get comfy if Shaun isn’t near by so more than anything I just enjoyed having cold chills and sinking deeper into the covers and diving into the Word!

On Tuesday, while I was in Pigeon Forge I got a call from our DCS worker
WOOOOOO WHOOOOOOOO!!!!!…
she FINALLY finished writing our home study (it only took 2 months….) and of course despite telling me several times that she had everything she needed from us there was a form that we didn’t know about and two that had expired (we began this process in august and forms apparently go bad!) I was so excited after hanging up with her that I wanted to jump off the balcony into the little pigeon river but I’m kind of chubby and was afraid that I could jump out far enough to not land on the rocks! When I got back in on Thursday I completed and update the forms and our home study has now been submitted for approval. It has to get a few local signatures of approval and then a few in Nashville. We don’t know how long that will take but we are ok with that for now because next week we are going to the beach! Not really that excited about the actual beach because I’m not a fan of strangers dumping water on me (it’s always awkward trying to explain that I’m not a real whale!) but I do enjoy other things near the beach!

I know this is the most random post(don’t critique my grammar) but I was up late last night in a hospital room… that’s right… I was up late… in a hospital room… with our sweet friends who are about to give birth to their first child! Cade will be here today! I can’t wait to meet him and tell him how blessed he is to have such sweet, energetic, caring and inspiring parents! His life is a precious testimony to just how great our God is! So excited to see what God will do with this sweet child!

shut.up.and.watch

Frustrations with the process have multiplied… near unbearable at times.
I’m not good at waiting… silence for me is like torture!

Last Tuesday was 1 month from the date of our last home visit with DCS and we had heard nothing. I sent an email to our case worker to inquire about the status of our licensing and a few days later got a not so encouraging reply. Please pray for Laura and her co-workers @ DHS. I can’t imagine how difficult their job is because of the nature of their job but they are also overworked!

So here we are still waiting, mostly in silence! I have really been struggling with this. I want nothing more than children in our home and I know that God is going to bless us with children but I struggle with patience while we wait for his timing.

I have been praying about whether or not I should try to call other people or call more often to expedite the process and I found my answer… one of my most favorite passages of scripture is Exodus 14… there you find Moses leading the ever so doubtful Israelites out of Egypt and the Egyptians are in hot pursuit… the Israelites are convinced that Moses has lead them into the wilderness because who wants all those dead bodies in Egypt… It’s Moses’ response to their complaints that nails me to the floor…

Moses spoke to the people: "Don't be afraid. Stand firm and watch GOD …
GOD will fight the battle for you.
And you? You keep your mouths shut!”

Then Moses strikes the Red Sea with his staff and the Israelites make it across the dry river bed and turn and see the Egyptians wiped away by the collapsing walls of water.

I like to sum 14:14 up with a simple phrase… shut up and watch!
I know that God is going to bless us with children… I know that we are going to be foster parents… I know that it is all in his time… I sometimes forget that He doesn’t need my help (or complaints).

Please pray that I will not respond to silence in bitterness! I know that this period of waiting will only make it that much sweeter when we have children in our home.

Please pray that I will surrender my desire for control into the hands of my Heavenly Father, who will deliver me from the wilderness every.single.time!

not so patiently

Our “final home visit” was last night. I was all excited about getting one step closer to being foster parents, only to find that only God knows when we will be certified. I’m not good at being patient. I know that God is in control but my heart sank when she said that she didn’t know when she could write our homestudy or when it would be approved. I know that hearing “your next in line” was supposed to be comforting but it wasn’t. I just can’t explain the desire that I have to be a mom, even if it’s to a child that will go back to a birth family. I know that separation will be difficult but I never expected this wait to be so painful at times. I know that there are children out there that need to know what love is and Shaun and I are filled with love we can’t wait to share it.

Please pray that God will fill the pit in my heart. Please pray that I will be patient and trust in the Lord. Please pray for the Children that God will place in our home and in our forever!

I am thankful for...

my woderful Husband who goes out of his way to make me happy, puts my comfort before his own, does all the laundry and makes the recycling pile magically disapper. He allows me to dream big and supports me though he can't see my vision... He loves me like Jesus!

being debt free, except our house, having an "emergency fund" and finding out the we owe on our taxes!

the desire to have a family and the courage to accept God's will.
the children that God is preparing for us.

our loving friends and family, people who make us happy and make us mad, make us laugh and make us cry... people that make us us.

my loving heavenly Father who desires my heart and has plans for my life.

can't wait to color!

I dream BIG! This scares Shaun and if I got real honest I guess I’d have to say it scares me too. Lately I have been in this real crafty mood and everything seems like a good idea! But my fear of not doing something well causes me to suppress my creativity until I go crazy and do something HUGE!

Most of the time when I burst, I burst with color! Usually I head to Wal-Mart when I should be in bed and come back with paint! I’m a bit afraid right now that this could turn out badly because I love retro greens my kitchen is in desperate need of color!

I am praying for a pretty weekend so that I can paint the dresser for the nursery this color, when I find new drawer pulls I want to paint them this color! Shaun is really afraid of what it is going to look like but he trusts me… for now at least. I’ll post a few pics when it’s all done. Hopefully attacking the dresser and toy box and maybe a few baskets with some bright colors will keep me from doing anything too crazy in the kitchen!

Between now and this weekend to curb my craft appetite I might cover some photo boxes with some pretty scrapbook paper to jazz them up. Nothing gets me going like a good reason to use a sharp blade and spray glue!

Envelopes and Answered Prayers

So I Friday I went and did some shopping… I bought all kinds of baby necessities like soap/shampoo, lotion, wipes, bottles, etc. I also got some fun wooden puzzles and other toys at some consignment shops. I had been saving my Christmas money and left over cash from other envelops for baby stuff. I had a blast gathering these items and was shocked to find that after all the purchases there was still enough cash left in the envelope to purchase a car seat!

Over the weekend I hibernated because of snow and illness and it was Tuesday morning before I realized that the envelope was missing. I was 100% certain that with all of the excitement on Friday when I got home to put the things that I had purchased in the baby room that I had put it in some strange place. When I got home I tore the house apart looking for it and could not find it anywhere. I finally determined that it must have fallen out of my purse in the parking lot at Western Heights on Monday when I was putting my keys away. Yesterday when I got home I was rummaging around looking for it, trying to tell myself that it was ok if someone else needed to be blessed by it when I found the receipt from Target. For some crazy reason I decided to put my pride aside and just ask if by chance an envelops containing over $100 was turned into lost and found.

I was shocked to hear that it was turned in, in asking I just stated that it was a First TN envelope and the lady on the other end of the line confirmed that it had cash in it. She put me on hold for 10 minutes while the manager searched for it, only to come back to say they couldn’t find and recommended that I call this a.m. to see if Jerry knew where it was. I spoke to Jerry and he knew nothing about it and looked everywhere he knew to look only to call me back as I was walking into the Dr. office to say he couldn’t find it!

Needless to say I was a bit flustered and it was noticeable! I was filling the doc in on the details of our journey to becoming foster parents and she asked what else was going on… she could tell something just wasn’t right so I shared with her the story of my envelope and how I was just trying to lay the frustration in the Hands of God because I knew regardless He was going to provide.

We started talking car seats and safety features and then she reported that she had a transitional car seat that was only used a few times that she would like me to have. Tonight she is going to drop it off at our house!

I love when it’s evident that God has answered my prayer and I love it even more when it the very last way I would expect!

p.s. if any of you are looking for a good obgyn, I highly recommend Dr. Johnson at Women’s Care Group, she’s wonderful!

1 down, 2 to go!

Sorry it's been so long since my last update!

As you may know we had our first home visit last Tuesday, things went well. It was not at all what I expected in that not a lot was asked of us at that time and it was more like catching up with a friend. We had every form that we could have possibly completed singed and were able to hand all of that over, the one thing that she stated she needed before scheduling our next visit was the one thing that we hadn't completed... the dreaded autobiographies!

Since then I have completed my autobiography (yesterday) but Shaun is still working on his. We set a personal goal of completing them and hand delivering them to DCS this week! Pray that with the completion of these our next two visits will be scheduled in a timely manner. Also pray for the DCS worker writing our home study, due to a co-worker in her department being on medical leave she now has a case load of appox. 50 foster and potential foster families that she is to write home studies on and support.

Good news is we have the "spare room" ready for occupancy. The crib and changing table are in place and the extra stuff is mostly gone. I still have a replica queen Anne chair in need of a good adoptive home and a set of unfinished barrister bookcases that need a foster home! We haven't really unpacked and laundered the bedding yet because I still get worried at times that they will say they don't want us to be foster parents or that we can't house infants! I also don't want it to baby ready for too long before we are even open to foster because that would be torture!

I still have things that I want to do by way of decorating and organizing and at times I find myself in there sitting and thinking about it(another reason the chair must go)but I know that for now we are in a good place!

Thanks to all of you for your words of encouragement and prayers! We can't tell you enough how much we appreciate your love and support on this journey!

p.s. I know you want to see pictures but I can't bring myself to post pictures of the work in progress. I guess if you want to see it you will just have to stop by unexpectedly!