too long!

It's been way too long since my last update. This would be much more fun for me if I could share more specifics about Doodle Bug and some of the super cute pictures of her! picture big beautiful eyes that can stare a hole into your soul, with eyelashes that reach the sky, an overwhelming grin that melts hearts and the most beautiful complexion you ever will see!

These days...
she is talking all the time... she likes to grab Shaun by the beard, stare into his eyes and have deep meaningful conversations. Not quiet sure what she's talking about but she's very passionate about it!
she'e eatting rice cereal, wheat cereal and homemade butternut squash. her favorite is when we mix the cereal with apple juice, i can tell be the sour face and shimmy that she just loves it;)
she loves to jump in the jumper and spin in circles and you better pay attention or she will throw things!
she wants so badly to play with Nestle, she will lay in may lap and yell trying to get nestles attention, she quickly becomes frustrated and starts crying when nestle ignores her so I make nestle lay beside us for some gentle petting and not so getle ear tugs and eye gouges!
she's known as a sock thief at daycare because she frequently snatchs socks off of other children's feet.
she's pulling up on her knees and getting up on her hands but never at the same time. if she wants to move forward she flops liks a fish until she gets there!
she's not locking her arms like she used to, PTL the crossstroking is working. Dr. W will be so proud!
she's fascinated by the camera and therefore it is impossible to get a picture of her smiliing, instead it seems as if she is always deep in thought!
Can't believe the bug is almost 6 months old...

She's on her third caseworker and we really like this one. She keeps us informed and is very helpful. She also enjoys spending time with the bug and holds her everytime we see her, which means alot because I never saw the previous two even touch her!

Continue to pray God's best for this little angle, we are so blessed to get to be a part of this little life!

No sweeter sound...

Right now I am listeninig to our little angle cry her self to sleep. She's full, dry and warm and so very tired! We are trying to get her used to falling asleep in her own bed; the first week or so bed time was a cinch but now she cries and fights sleep! (it really stresses Dad out but I have learned to tune it out) I'm a fan of letting her cry for a bit because I don't want to get to a point where she refuses to sleep in her on bed but at the same time if she is screaming the whole time she is in her bed she might begin to think that her room is a horrible place... oh what to do!?!

The good thing is when she wakes up in the middle of the night for a feeding she goes right back to sleep with no problem! She is still sleeping for 3 to 4 hour streches and we are alternating nights getting up with her since we are both working. (I am blessed with such a woderful husband)

We are slowly but surely getting used to our new life as (foster)parents! We have been out to dinner a few times and shopping several times and every time S has been so laid back!

It's amazing how much we love her... with wreckless abandon! I could never imagine not loving any child in our home with my whole heart but I love with parts of me that I didn't know that I had!

We are so amazed at how God is working in our lives through this little girl and can't wait to see what the Lord has in store for our future!

Please pray for her birth mom, that the Lord will make Himself known in her life and that she will surrender to Him and that He will restore her to His intention for her life!

My blog ate my update…

So sorry that I am so bad at updating this thing! I really want to do a better job at this so that I can look back and see all the frustration and the joy that it has brought us!

So I guess it’s pretty obvious that we were finally approved as foster parents! We got the call on May 25, 2010, while we were on vacation, letting us know that we were finally approved. That Friday as we were packing up to head home from Floridia we got a call from placement about a little boy that we had to decline because we were 9 hours away from home.

Needless to say when we got home we went crazy washing clothes and linens for the nursery. Fast forward to June 9, when we got a call for a sibling group. We declined this placement because we really felt that our first placement should be 1 child since we had never had a child in our home. That night I was talking to a friend who reminded me to pray and make sure that that decision was not one made in fear because if so it wasn’t from the Lord. I prayed about it felt at peace, knowing that the next call was for the child God intended to be placed in our home.

The very next day, June 10, 2010 @ 1:30p.m. I received a call from the placement caseworker who started the call by saying “it’s me again, one of these days I am going to call and you are going to say yes” without her giving me any details about the child or situation I said “today is the day” when my phone rang and I saw that it wad DCS my heart jumped for joy because I knew that this was God’s intention for us, who we had been waiting for!

I was told of a 2 week old little girl who was 5 lbs 4 oz. I was told that she was born into a not so great situation but by the grace of God it seemed that she was healthy.

I rushed home to sterilize bottles, never would we have dreamed of our first placement being such a young child!

By 4 p.m. I was at our home by myself with the most beautiful little girl I have ever seen! Of course I wasn’t home alone for long! Many friends and families stopped by to meet our big blessing in a tiny package!

Today Shelby is 4 weeks old, and has been with us for exactly 2 weeks! The past 2 weeks have been a blur but full of joy! When I am up at 3 am feeding this little girl I can’t help but praise God for her, there is no doubt in my mind that this is what He created me for!

Shelby is healthy and happy, she makes eye contact when we talk to her and coos and grunts in response to us! She eats well (about 3 oz every 2.5 hours) and loves her beauty sleep! She not a huge fan of bath time and hates being changed but she is learning to tolerate both! She likes when Nestle kisses her feet and puts up with our kisses! She has the cutest grin and makes the funniest sounds! We are in love!

Thanks to everyone who has loved on us and prayed for us while we waited on this little girl! Thanks for all of the things that you have provided to help us make our house a home for her! I said to someone the other day that she is going to be spoiled and they told me that there is no such thing as a spoiled child… just a well loved child!

Please pray that she will continue to develop normally! Pray for her as she gets ready to start daycare on 7/12/10! Pray that the cyst on her head will go away on it’s own!

Cold chills, wooowhooos, and hospital rooms

I have a really hard time keeping this blog updated… I don’t know that it matters much because who really reads this (I know, but the 3 of you don’t count because you know all of this before you read it here) but I do it for me. Sometimes I just bottle life (and emotions) and then feel really………….bloated! Seriously I could pop right now!

So here’s what’s new!

I was out of town for work last week… I was only in Pigeon Forge but it was nice to be out of the office. The first thing that I do when I stay anywhere other than my home is turn the air as high as it will go; after all I’m not paying that bill! (I saw that mental note you just made to never let me house sit for you) It was so cold that I had to use an ice scraper on the mirror after my shower… I love to sleep in the cold(as long as my feet stay warm) but I can never get comfy if Shaun isn’t near by so more than anything I just enjoyed having cold chills and sinking deeper into the covers and diving into the Word!

On Tuesday, while I was in Pigeon Forge I got a call from our DCS worker
WOOOOOO WHOOOOOOOO!!!!!…
she FINALLY finished writing our home study (it only took 2 months….) and of course despite telling me several times that she had everything she needed from us there was a form that we didn’t know about and two that had expired (we began this process in august and forms apparently go bad!) I was so excited after hanging up with her that I wanted to jump off the balcony into the little pigeon river but I’m kind of chubby and was afraid that I could jump out far enough to not land on the rocks! When I got back in on Thursday I completed and update the forms and our home study has now been submitted for approval. It has to get a few local signatures of approval and then a few in Nashville. We don’t know how long that will take but we are ok with that for now because next week we are going to the beach! Not really that excited about the actual beach because I’m not a fan of strangers dumping water on me (it’s always awkward trying to explain that I’m not a real whale!) but I do enjoy other things near the beach!

I know this is the most random post(don’t critique my grammar) but I was up late last night in a hospital room… that’s right… I was up late… in a hospital room… with our sweet friends who are about to give birth to their first child! Cade will be here today! I can’t wait to meet him and tell him how blessed he is to have such sweet, energetic, caring and inspiring parents! His life is a precious testimony to just how great our God is! So excited to see what God will do with this sweet child!

shut.up.and.watch

Frustrations with the process have multiplied… near unbearable at times.
I’m not good at waiting… silence for me is like torture!

Last Tuesday was 1 month from the date of our last home visit with DCS and we had heard nothing. I sent an email to our case worker to inquire about the status of our licensing and a few days later got a not so encouraging reply. Please pray for Laura and her co-workers @ DHS. I can’t imagine how difficult their job is because of the nature of their job but they are also overworked!

So here we are still waiting, mostly in silence! I have really been struggling with this. I want nothing more than children in our home and I know that God is going to bless us with children but I struggle with patience while we wait for his timing.

I have been praying about whether or not I should try to call other people or call more often to expedite the process and I found my answer… one of my most favorite passages of scripture is Exodus 14… there you find Moses leading the ever so doubtful Israelites out of Egypt and the Egyptians are in hot pursuit… the Israelites are convinced that Moses has lead them into the wilderness because who wants all those dead bodies in Egypt… It’s Moses’ response to their complaints that nails me to the floor…

Moses spoke to the people: "Don't be afraid. Stand firm and watch GOD …
GOD will fight the battle for you.
And you? You keep your mouths shut!”

Then Moses strikes the Red Sea with his staff and the Israelites make it across the dry river bed and turn and see the Egyptians wiped away by the collapsing walls of water.

I like to sum 14:14 up with a simple phrase… shut up and watch!
I know that God is going to bless us with children… I know that we are going to be foster parents… I know that it is all in his time… I sometimes forget that He doesn’t need my help (or complaints).

Please pray that I will not respond to silence in bitterness! I know that this period of waiting will only make it that much sweeter when we have children in our home.

Please pray that I will surrender my desire for control into the hands of my Heavenly Father, who will deliver me from the wilderness every.single.time!

not so patiently

Our “final home visit” was last night. I was all excited about getting one step closer to being foster parents, only to find that only God knows when we will be certified. I’m not good at being patient. I know that God is in control but my heart sank when she said that she didn’t know when she could write our homestudy or when it would be approved. I know that hearing “your next in line” was supposed to be comforting but it wasn’t. I just can’t explain the desire that I have to be a mom, even if it’s to a child that will go back to a birth family. I know that separation will be difficult but I never expected this wait to be so painful at times. I know that there are children out there that need to know what love is and Shaun and I are filled with love we can’t wait to share it.

Please pray that God will fill the pit in my heart. Please pray that I will be patient and trust in the Lord. Please pray for the Children that God will place in our home and in our forever!

1 down, 2 to go!

Sorry it's been so long since my last update!

As you may know we had our first home visit last Tuesday, things went well. It was not at all what I expected in that not a lot was asked of us at that time and it was more like catching up with a friend. We had every form that we could have possibly completed singed and were able to hand all of that over, the one thing that she stated she needed before scheduling our next visit was the one thing that we hadn't completed... the dreaded autobiographies!

Since then I have completed my autobiography (yesterday) but Shaun is still working on his. We set a personal goal of completing them and hand delivering them to DCS this week! Pray that with the completion of these our next two visits will be scheduled in a timely manner. Also pray for the DCS worker writing our home study, due to a co-worker in her department being on medical leave she now has a case load of appox. 50 foster and potential foster families that she is to write home studies on and support.

Good news is we have the "spare room" ready for occupancy. The crib and changing table are in place and the extra stuff is mostly gone. I still have a replica queen Anne chair in need of a good adoptive home and a set of unfinished barrister bookcases that need a foster home! We haven't really unpacked and laundered the bedding yet because I still get worried at times that they will say they don't want us to be foster parents or that we can't house infants! I also don't want it to baby ready for too long before we are even open to foster because that would be torture!

I still have things that I want to do by way of decorating and organizing and at times I find myself in there sitting and thinking about it(another reason the chair must go)but I know that for now we are in a good place!

Thanks to all of you for your words of encouragement and prayers! We can't tell you enough how much we appreciate your love and support on this journey!

p.s. I know you want to see pictures but I can't bring myself to post pictures of the work in progress. I guess if you want to see it you will just have to stop by unexpectedly!

CeLeBrAtE!

Tonight is our final PATH class... one step closer to becoming foster parents! We are so anxious and excited and nervous all at the same time!

I have started working on my autobiography and plan to finish it before 2010 begins, we are both off most of the week following Christmas so hopefully Shaun can knock his out as well.

A few other things we hope to do before 2010:
-make copies of all important documents needed for DCS binder
-get Nestle's shots updated
-complete monthly family income and expenditures form
-move furniture out of "spare" room to make room for children
-go shopping at consignment shops for baby bedding that is gender neutral
-look into logistics of creating pantry
-refinish baby dresser

lots to do

We only have 2 more PATH classes left! I can't believe how fast time has gone and how much material we have covered.

We got our physicals out of the way last week and we are finally in the system for finger printing, hopefully we can knock that out one evening this week! We still have lots of copies of things to make and we found out that instead of doing a questionnaire we have to write autobiographies... no fun!

The room is still uninhabitable, however my parents have decided to foster my precious iron bed that I just refinished. My niece is currently sleeping on it, she appreciates the beauty of it and I appreciate that! We have a crib and changing table waiting on us to bring it home(thanks BJ&Emily)and a dresser that has been sitting waiting to be painted; it is currently housing all of the un-wrapped Christmas gifts!

I think that I have decided to make a book shelf out of rain gutters to go on the wall above where the changing table will go. This will allow the pictures on the front of the books to be decor for the room, and make the books more appealing to children. I KNOW that I have decided to cut a hole in the wall in the kitchen to make a small pantry, Shaun still needs some convincing!

We have a few more big things to get rid of, i.e. the roll to the sink dishwasher that never gets used and my beloved vintage modern table that is used as a makeshift island. The dishwasher is free for the taking and I am considering listing the table, that would seat 2 perfectly and 4 a bit awkwardly, but could better be used as a desk on craigslist.

I am also still debating on what to do about the bathroom... medications and cleaning supplies have to be under lock and key and the most logical place for these things to be seems to be the bathroom. This means we need a new(cheap, possibly used) vanity and high cabinet that could be used for linens and other storage.

Ok, I have to stop thinking about this because I get overwhelmed with ideas and nothing gets done.

Frustrated

Please pray for me. I am getting very frustrated with DCS, we have been trying to get our finger printing done but they still haven't entered us into the system! I have called and left messages and sent emails to the person in charge but she will not respond... I don't want to be a pain but I am anxious and we hope to complete the licensing process quickly, there are some specific time frames that we have to get things done in.

A few minutes ago I called and left a VM for the lady we initially spoke with at DCS because I am getting discouraged and she just called me back... She told me that the lady who I have been leaving messages for has been sick, however I know she has been in the office because she has communicated with other people in our class. She is going to fax me the form that she needs to enter us into the system. This means we will be filling it out for the second time but at least there has been communication!

Praying this now open line of communication will remain open...

the journey

This journey began a long time ago, honestly I can’t quiet remember when. I have thought about foster parenting for a long time, maybe because in the back of my mind I have always wondered if I would be able to have children. I have heard stories of how I was “experimented on” as a child, having multiple operations for herschsprungs disease has left me scarred and scared. I realize that all of that was part of God’s way of preparing me for all of this!

God placed this desire in me a long time ago and has been shaping my heart for this!

Shortly after Shaun and I met we were more than friends, whether we claimed it or not we were in a relationship! Early on I began pouring my heart out to him, explaining that I knew this was a road that God would lead me down. His reaction wasn’t typical in that he continued investing time in a relationship with me. It didn’t take me long to realize that this was who God planned for me to take this ride with!

Of course we’re scared; terrified may even be a better word to describe our feelings right now! But we aren’t naive either, we know every child that is placed in our home will not be a perfect angle, we may even be blessed with the opportunity to make an impact on the life of a child who has been abused or neglected. God never promised that His desire for our lives would be easy, but we have faith in the fact that He is with us and if we remain in Him, He will carry us through the rough terrain.

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.- Jeremiah 29:11