too long!

It's been way too long since my last update. This would be much more fun for me if I could share more specifics about Doodle Bug and some of the super cute pictures of her! picture big beautiful eyes that can stare a hole into your soul, with eyelashes that reach the sky, an overwhelming grin that melts hearts and the most beautiful complexion you ever will see!

These days...
she is talking all the time... she likes to grab Shaun by the beard, stare into his eyes and have deep meaningful conversations. Not quiet sure what she's talking about but she's very passionate about it!
she'e eatting rice cereal, wheat cereal and homemade butternut squash. her favorite is when we mix the cereal with apple juice, i can tell be the sour face and shimmy that she just loves it;)
she loves to jump in the jumper and spin in circles and you better pay attention or she will throw things!
she wants so badly to play with Nestle, she will lay in may lap and yell trying to get nestles attention, she quickly becomes frustrated and starts crying when nestle ignores her so I make nestle lay beside us for some gentle petting and not so getle ear tugs and eye gouges!
she's known as a sock thief at daycare because she frequently snatchs socks off of other children's feet.
she's pulling up on her knees and getting up on her hands but never at the same time. if she wants to move forward she flops liks a fish until she gets there!
she's not locking her arms like she used to, PTL the crossstroking is working. Dr. W will be so proud!
she's fascinated by the camera and therefore it is impossible to get a picture of her smiliing, instead it seems as if she is always deep in thought!
Can't believe the bug is almost 6 months old...

She's on her third caseworker and we really like this one. She keeps us informed and is very helpful. She also enjoys spending time with the bug and holds her everytime we see her, which means alot because I never saw the previous two even touch her!

Continue to pray God's best for this little angle, we are so blessed to get to be a part of this little life!

proud...

hoping to be the proud owner of a new (to me) mini van in the not so distant furture! Please pray that we make wise decisions and are good stewards of the money that God has blessed us with!

Prayer request....

I love being a foster mom, we enjoy having Doodle Bug in our home and desire more than anything God's best for her! Please pray with us daily that if God's best is better than forever with us that He will prepare our hearts for that! We are so desperately in love with this little girl and I know that our Lord and Savior has a plan for her life and we are eternally grateful for the opportunity to be a part of it, even if only for one chapter!

We have known from the start that we will have children come into our home and then return to their rightful home and we know when the time comes for a child to leave that we will mourn but please pray that we will also dance with joy and thanksgiving for the time we had and the restoration that occurred!

I know without a doubt that God created me to be a foster mom and to love on children and plant seeds in their life so that they will come to know Him! Please pray that this call remains my primary focus and that I remember to hold on tightly to His promises and loosely to His children!

These days...

Our Doodle Bug is 7 weeks old
She has long eyelashes and beautiful eyes,
She kind of grins when you talk to her,
Her cyst is almost gone(PTL!)
She still has an “Alfalfa” curl
She is holding her head up like a pro
Finding her fingers and chewing on them
Yelling out for attention
Playing on her tummy
Having staring contest
Eating 4 oz every 3 hours
Sleeping a little better and
Grabbing attention and melting hearts of everyone she meets!

Life of the Party!

So our little doodle bug is not only a huge hit with us, our family and friends but everywhere we go!

I went to a bridal shower on Sunday and took her with me and random people gwaked at her for a while and one lady even sat down and said "Who's baby is that?... I'm gonna hold her." and proceeded to remove her from the arms of a family member!

She began daycare yesterday and when I picked her up everyone in sight told me just how precious she is(like I don't know). Her teacher said that everyone kept coming into the room wanting to love on her and hold her. They were amazed at how laid back and alert she is. So thrilled to have her in such a great daycare! My neice and nephew went there 6 years ago and the first thing they did when we walked in was asked how they are doing and how my mom is... so comforting to know that the children they care for make a lasting impression on them; shows that it's more than just a job for them.

Last night @ bed time she spit up once and then slept for 4 hours and after eatting @ 2:30 she spit up once more then slept 4 more hours. Such a huge improvement since for the past 2 weeks she has spit up several times and is fussy for a couple of hours before getting good rest. I don't want to jinx this but we are definatley going to try to repeat last night tonight.

Friday= Doodle Bug day!

I'm taking tomorrow off to spend time with my little doodle bug! I love just hanging out with her! I need to get some house work done but she likes to hang out in the kitchen with me so that shouldn't be too much of a problem! She has already learned how to make fresh apple bread, chocolate chip cookies, peanut butter cookies... I'm sure there were some non-sweets that we made together but for some reason those things aren't memorable to me! We have been talking about it and I'm pretty sure that she wants to go to culinary school and work as a pastry chef at the family bakery when she grows up... no matter where her forever home is she will always be a part of our family!

On another note, she has been spitting up a bit more these days but it is def. way worse and kind of slimy when she is in bed... what's up with that? I think it might be part of why she has been fussy at bed time but when we pick her up she is just as happy as can be and doesn't act like she feels bad. My sinuses have been acting crazy and I have major drainage when I lay down so maybe she is dealing with some of the same?

Shaun's dad is leaving on Saturday to go on a mission trip. He and other members of Black Oak Heights Baptist Church will be serving the Lord in Nicaragua! Pray for safety as they travel and that the Lord is softening the hearts of those who will hear the Good News!

...

Some days you have to seek comfort in knowing that you are right where God wants you to be...

Some days you have to grin and bear it...

Some days you have to sing...

Some days you have to sleep...

Some days you have to cry...

Some days you have to laugh...

Every day all you can do is try...

No sweeter sound...

Right now I am listeninig to our little angle cry her self to sleep. She's full, dry and warm and so very tired! We are trying to get her used to falling asleep in her own bed; the first week or so bed time was a cinch but now she cries and fights sleep! (it really stresses Dad out but I have learned to tune it out) I'm a fan of letting her cry for a bit because I don't want to get to a point where she refuses to sleep in her on bed but at the same time if she is screaming the whole time she is in her bed she might begin to think that her room is a horrible place... oh what to do!?!

The good thing is when she wakes up in the middle of the night for a feeding she goes right back to sleep with no problem! She is still sleeping for 3 to 4 hour streches and we are alternating nights getting up with her since we are both working. (I am blessed with such a woderful husband)

We are slowly but surely getting used to our new life as (foster)parents! We have been out to dinner a few times and shopping several times and every time S has been so laid back!

It's amazing how much we love her... with wreckless abandon! I could never imagine not loving any child in our home with my whole heart but I love with parts of me that I didn't know that I had!

We are so amazed at how God is working in our lives through this little girl and can't wait to see what the Lord has in store for our future!

Please pray for her birth mom, that the Lord will make Himself known in her life and that she will surrender to Him and that He will restore her to His intention for her life!

My blog ate my update…

So sorry that I am so bad at updating this thing! I really want to do a better job at this so that I can look back and see all the frustration and the joy that it has brought us!

So I guess it’s pretty obvious that we were finally approved as foster parents! We got the call on May 25, 2010, while we were on vacation, letting us know that we were finally approved. That Friday as we were packing up to head home from Floridia we got a call from placement about a little boy that we had to decline because we were 9 hours away from home.

Needless to say when we got home we went crazy washing clothes and linens for the nursery. Fast forward to June 9, when we got a call for a sibling group. We declined this placement because we really felt that our first placement should be 1 child since we had never had a child in our home. That night I was talking to a friend who reminded me to pray and make sure that that decision was not one made in fear because if so it wasn’t from the Lord. I prayed about it felt at peace, knowing that the next call was for the child God intended to be placed in our home.

The very next day, June 10, 2010 @ 1:30p.m. I received a call from the placement caseworker who started the call by saying “it’s me again, one of these days I am going to call and you are going to say yes” without her giving me any details about the child or situation I said “today is the day” when my phone rang and I saw that it wad DCS my heart jumped for joy because I knew that this was God’s intention for us, who we had been waiting for!

I was told of a 2 week old little girl who was 5 lbs 4 oz. I was told that she was born into a not so great situation but by the grace of God it seemed that she was healthy.

I rushed home to sterilize bottles, never would we have dreamed of our first placement being such a young child!

By 4 p.m. I was at our home by myself with the most beautiful little girl I have ever seen! Of course I wasn’t home alone for long! Many friends and families stopped by to meet our big blessing in a tiny package!

Today Shelby is 4 weeks old, and has been with us for exactly 2 weeks! The past 2 weeks have been a blur but full of joy! When I am up at 3 am feeding this little girl I can’t help but praise God for her, there is no doubt in my mind that this is what He created me for!

Shelby is healthy and happy, she makes eye contact when we talk to her and coos and grunts in response to us! She eats well (about 3 oz every 2.5 hours) and loves her beauty sleep! She not a huge fan of bath time and hates being changed but she is learning to tolerate both! She likes when Nestle kisses her feet and puts up with our kisses! She has the cutest grin and makes the funniest sounds! We are in love!

Thanks to everyone who has loved on us and prayed for us while we waited on this little girl! Thanks for all of the things that you have provided to help us make our house a home for her! I said to someone the other day that she is going to be spoiled and they told me that there is no such thing as a spoiled child… just a well loved child!

Please pray that she will continue to develop normally! Pray for her as she gets ready to start daycare on 7/12/10! Pray that the cyst on her head will go away on it’s own!

Cold chills, wooowhooos, and hospital rooms

I have a really hard time keeping this blog updated… I don’t know that it matters much because who really reads this (I know, but the 3 of you don’t count because you know all of this before you read it here) but I do it for me. Sometimes I just bottle life (and emotions) and then feel really………….bloated! Seriously I could pop right now!

So here’s what’s new!

I was out of town for work last week… I was only in Pigeon Forge but it was nice to be out of the office. The first thing that I do when I stay anywhere other than my home is turn the air as high as it will go; after all I’m not paying that bill! (I saw that mental note you just made to never let me house sit for you) It was so cold that I had to use an ice scraper on the mirror after my shower… I love to sleep in the cold(as long as my feet stay warm) but I can never get comfy if Shaun isn’t near by so more than anything I just enjoyed having cold chills and sinking deeper into the covers and diving into the Word!

On Tuesday, while I was in Pigeon Forge I got a call from our DCS worker
WOOOOOO WHOOOOOOOO!!!!!…
she FINALLY finished writing our home study (it only took 2 months….) and of course despite telling me several times that she had everything she needed from us there was a form that we didn’t know about and two that had expired (we began this process in august and forms apparently go bad!) I was so excited after hanging up with her that I wanted to jump off the balcony into the little pigeon river but I’m kind of chubby and was afraid that I could jump out far enough to not land on the rocks! When I got back in on Thursday I completed and update the forms and our home study has now been submitted for approval. It has to get a few local signatures of approval and then a few in Nashville. We don’t know how long that will take but we are ok with that for now because next week we are going to the beach! Not really that excited about the actual beach because I’m not a fan of strangers dumping water on me (it’s always awkward trying to explain that I’m not a real whale!) but I do enjoy other things near the beach!

I know this is the most random post(don’t critique my grammar) but I was up late last night in a hospital room… that’s right… I was up late… in a hospital room… with our sweet friends who are about to give birth to their first child! Cade will be here today! I can’t wait to meet him and tell him how blessed he is to have such sweet, energetic, caring and inspiring parents! His life is a precious testimony to just how great our God is! So excited to see what God will do with this sweet child!

shut.up.and.watch

Frustrations with the process have multiplied… near unbearable at times.
I’m not good at waiting… silence for me is like torture!

Last Tuesday was 1 month from the date of our last home visit with DCS and we had heard nothing. I sent an email to our case worker to inquire about the status of our licensing and a few days later got a not so encouraging reply. Please pray for Laura and her co-workers @ DHS. I can’t imagine how difficult their job is because of the nature of their job but they are also overworked!

So here we are still waiting, mostly in silence! I have really been struggling with this. I want nothing more than children in our home and I know that God is going to bless us with children but I struggle with patience while we wait for his timing.

I have been praying about whether or not I should try to call other people or call more often to expedite the process and I found my answer… one of my most favorite passages of scripture is Exodus 14… there you find Moses leading the ever so doubtful Israelites out of Egypt and the Egyptians are in hot pursuit… the Israelites are convinced that Moses has lead them into the wilderness because who wants all those dead bodies in Egypt… It’s Moses’ response to their complaints that nails me to the floor…

Moses spoke to the people: "Don't be afraid. Stand firm and watch GOD …
GOD will fight the battle for you.
And you? You keep your mouths shut!”

Then Moses strikes the Red Sea with his staff and the Israelites make it across the dry river bed and turn and see the Egyptians wiped away by the collapsing walls of water.

I like to sum 14:14 up with a simple phrase… shut up and watch!
I know that God is going to bless us with children… I know that we are going to be foster parents… I know that it is all in his time… I sometimes forget that He doesn’t need my help (or complaints).

Please pray that I will not respond to silence in bitterness! I know that this period of waiting will only make it that much sweeter when we have children in our home.

Please pray that I will surrender my desire for control into the hands of my Heavenly Father, who will deliver me from the wilderness every.single.time!

not so patiently

Our “final home visit” was last night. I was all excited about getting one step closer to being foster parents, only to find that only God knows when we will be certified. I’m not good at being patient. I know that God is in control but my heart sank when she said that she didn’t know when she could write our homestudy or when it would be approved. I know that hearing “your next in line” was supposed to be comforting but it wasn’t. I just can’t explain the desire that I have to be a mom, even if it’s to a child that will go back to a birth family. I know that separation will be difficult but I never expected this wait to be so painful at times. I know that there are children out there that need to know what love is and Shaun and I are filled with love we can’t wait to share it.

Please pray that God will fill the pit in my heart. Please pray that I will be patient and trust in the Lord. Please pray for the Children that God will place in our home and in our forever!

I am thankful for...

my woderful Husband who goes out of his way to make me happy, puts my comfort before his own, does all the laundry and makes the recycling pile magically disapper. He allows me to dream big and supports me though he can't see my vision... He loves me like Jesus!

being debt free, except our house, having an "emergency fund" and finding out the we owe on our taxes!

the desire to have a family and the courage to accept God's will.
the children that God is preparing for us.

our loving friends and family, people who make us happy and make us mad, make us laugh and make us cry... people that make us us.

my loving heavenly Father who desires my heart and has plans for my life.

can't wait to color!

I dream BIG! This scares Shaun and if I got real honest I guess I’d have to say it scares me too. Lately I have been in this real crafty mood and everything seems like a good idea! But my fear of not doing something well causes me to suppress my creativity until I go crazy and do something HUGE!

Most of the time when I burst, I burst with color! Usually I head to Wal-Mart when I should be in bed and come back with paint! I’m a bit afraid right now that this could turn out badly because I love retro greens my kitchen is in desperate need of color!

I am praying for a pretty weekend so that I can paint the dresser for the nursery this color, when I find new drawer pulls I want to paint them this color! Shaun is really afraid of what it is going to look like but he trusts me… for now at least. I’ll post a few pics when it’s all done. Hopefully attacking the dresser and toy box and maybe a few baskets with some bright colors will keep me from doing anything too crazy in the kitchen!

Between now and this weekend to curb my craft appetite I might cover some photo boxes with some pretty scrapbook paper to jazz them up. Nothing gets me going like a good reason to use a sharp blade and spray glue!

Envelopes and Answered Prayers

So I Friday I went and did some shopping… I bought all kinds of baby necessities like soap/shampoo, lotion, wipes, bottles, etc. I also got some fun wooden puzzles and other toys at some consignment shops. I had been saving my Christmas money and left over cash from other envelops for baby stuff. I had a blast gathering these items and was shocked to find that after all the purchases there was still enough cash left in the envelope to purchase a car seat!

Over the weekend I hibernated because of snow and illness and it was Tuesday morning before I realized that the envelope was missing. I was 100% certain that with all of the excitement on Friday when I got home to put the things that I had purchased in the baby room that I had put it in some strange place. When I got home I tore the house apart looking for it and could not find it anywhere. I finally determined that it must have fallen out of my purse in the parking lot at Western Heights on Monday when I was putting my keys away. Yesterday when I got home I was rummaging around looking for it, trying to tell myself that it was ok if someone else needed to be blessed by it when I found the receipt from Target. For some crazy reason I decided to put my pride aside and just ask if by chance an envelops containing over $100 was turned into lost and found.

I was shocked to hear that it was turned in, in asking I just stated that it was a First TN envelope and the lady on the other end of the line confirmed that it had cash in it. She put me on hold for 10 minutes while the manager searched for it, only to come back to say they couldn’t find and recommended that I call this a.m. to see if Jerry knew where it was. I spoke to Jerry and he knew nothing about it and looked everywhere he knew to look only to call me back as I was walking into the Dr. office to say he couldn’t find it!

Needless to say I was a bit flustered and it was noticeable! I was filling the doc in on the details of our journey to becoming foster parents and she asked what else was going on… she could tell something just wasn’t right so I shared with her the story of my envelope and how I was just trying to lay the frustration in the Hands of God because I knew regardless He was going to provide.

We started talking car seats and safety features and then she reported that she had a transitional car seat that was only used a few times that she would like me to have. Tonight she is going to drop it off at our house!

I love when it’s evident that God has answered my prayer and I love it even more when it the very last way I would expect!

p.s. if any of you are looking for a good obgyn, I highly recommend Dr. Johnson at Women’s Care Group, she’s wonderful!

1 down, 2 to go!

Sorry it's been so long since my last update!

As you may know we had our first home visit last Tuesday, things went well. It was not at all what I expected in that not a lot was asked of us at that time and it was more like catching up with a friend. We had every form that we could have possibly completed singed and were able to hand all of that over, the one thing that she stated she needed before scheduling our next visit was the one thing that we hadn't completed... the dreaded autobiographies!

Since then I have completed my autobiography (yesterday) but Shaun is still working on his. We set a personal goal of completing them and hand delivering them to DCS this week! Pray that with the completion of these our next two visits will be scheduled in a timely manner. Also pray for the DCS worker writing our home study, due to a co-worker in her department being on medical leave she now has a case load of appox. 50 foster and potential foster families that she is to write home studies on and support.

Good news is we have the "spare room" ready for occupancy. The crib and changing table are in place and the extra stuff is mostly gone. I still have a replica queen Anne chair in need of a good adoptive home and a set of unfinished barrister bookcases that need a foster home! We haven't really unpacked and laundered the bedding yet because I still get worried at times that they will say they don't want us to be foster parents or that we can't house infants! I also don't want it to baby ready for too long before we are even open to foster because that would be torture!

I still have things that I want to do by way of decorating and organizing and at times I find myself in there sitting and thinking about it(another reason the chair must go)but I know that for now we are in a good place!

Thanks to all of you for your words of encouragement and prayers! We can't tell you enough how much we appreciate your love and support on this journey!

p.s. I know you want to see pictures but I can't bring myself to post pictures of the work in progress. I guess if you want to see it you will just have to stop by unexpectedly!

It's been a while

Shew! So it's been a while since my last update.

We were finally able to get our 1st of 3 home visits scheduled, it will be on January 26. We have got lots of copies to make and another form or two to complete but I feel like we are pretty well prepared. I hope to get the crib and changing table in the room by then and start "putting the room together".

Pray for us as we work on these things, I have hoped to spend lots of time on this stuff recently but have had other stuff getting in the way. We will spend Saturday devoted to preparing for the home study. I have to proof my autobiography and Shaun still hasn't gotten started on his!

20-10...2000-10...stardate...The Year of Our Lord

I can't believe that it's 2010!

I just hate how quickly time flies when we are off work! We have accomplished a few things that I had hoped for but not all. We organized the laundry room and I found that the table that I love fits by the dryer so it is not for sale! We sat the portable dishwasher out in the driveway on Wednesday while we went to the zoo; Shaun was certain that no one would take it because I was honest on the FREE sign and wrote that it needed a new door gasket but when we returned it was gone... Happy Anniversary to us! The dinning table is now in the kitchen but I still have no pantry and desperately need one. I have also decided for certain that the kitchen must be painted.

For the most part the spare room is empty, I just have to find a home for this Replica Queen Anne chair that actually belongs to my mother but neither one of us have space for... it's burgundy pleather and free for the taking. Other than the chair and a few misc. items that need a permanent home the room is ready for some paint touch ups and baby furniture. I can't wait to start getting it together, we have been looking at bedding and found something that we agree on so I need to purchase it before one of us changes our mind!

Of course I still have to finish my autobiography and Shaun has to start his but since we still haven't heard from DCS I'd say we are in pretty good shape.